Welcome to my first blog post on this official relaunch of my website! For the ones who have known me since the beginning, this will just be a refresher and for the ones who don't.. well here is a little insight of how I became to be.
P.S. Kaguya started off as a Wordpress, a public diary in the year of 2015. P.S. standing for "post script" and Kaguya, deriving from the Moon Goddess in Japanese folklore. (I am not Japanese) My original name is Diana, which is obviously the Greek god ruled by the moon, and, if you guys don't already know, I'm a Cancer, which is also controlled by the moon. P.S. Kaguya was my alter ego - who I ended up becoming. It was not until the end of 2016, that I decided to start using instagram and when I started really taking pictures of myself. I ended a super toxic, abusive relationship of 2 years with a very narcissistic and insecure, man child. He has apologized to me or attempted to multiple times, but I still don't have it in my heart to really forgive him... nor give him the satisfaction. I do hope the best for him. This was a relationship that put me in turmoil and hell every week. Not only was it emotionally abusive but also physical. (we will not go into detail about this in this segment, however it's funny how the idea of what we think is "love" is rooted from our experience of childhood.)
I was a photo major at that time studying in NYC. I started a blog for my photo critique class but ended up using the entries as public diary segments. The title of the Wordpress is called "120 Days in Paris" - I'm pretty sure.. I did not get into the thesis show for this very reason. For some reason, I forgot that my professor was reading them in the first place and I just started enjoying writing and people actually f*cked with it. I was also really depressed. You know that thing when everything goes wrong and maybe it's the universe telling you that you shouldn't go for it??? Well I didn't listen. I really wanted to leave NYC and I found out the headmaster of my college screwed me over, so I had to repeat Junior Year. And I promised myself, as annoying as everything was and on top of the extra year I had to pay, (I mean still have to lol) that I was going to study abroad. It was my mission. It was quite an adventure for sure.
English is NOT my first language however it is my primary. I state this because this is actually why I started getting more into writing in the first place. **warning** My grammar will more than likely be off. So... sorry if it will make you cringe (^_^)" but bear with me. I used to enjoy these blog posts because there was a sense of delight and a sense of growth with each word when I used to write for fun.
So many folx take on the concept of being the Carrie Bradshaw, but ultimately aren't we all at this point. Hopefully less toxic in behaviors but probably not too far off cause we're all a mess. We are imperfect. The content, connections, realness, and façade of the social media world still baffles me. And as I have been going on my 4th year, I get more tired of being on social media but also excited for the future. I am hoping to get back into writing or I guess in this sense journaling and connecting with everyone this way again. Thank you for taking your time and reading this entry! For now, I hope you enjoy my new website and all the content and merch! More to come! Thank you for coming along this journey with me. xxo p.s. YOU DID THAT! <3333333